Understanding Human Nature: 12 Traits We Share

Imagine you are from another planet, about to embark on a journey to Earth to meet this creature called Humans. You are going to be given your current job when you arrive on Earth.

And imagine I was your instructor, helping you prepare and understand about these Humans. How to interact with them. How to get them to like you, trust you, and follow you. Here is what I’d tell you.

Traits of Human Nature

Here are the 12 traits commonly shared amongst Humans (at least those in Developed countries). After reading each topic, ask yourself: “How does this knowledge impact my job?”

Humans Like Others to Lead: While each Human has a few topics in their personal and/or business lives they like to or need to lead, for most all else, Humans would be happy for others to lead.

So, what can we do? For anything that is important, take the “driver’s seat” and tell them what’s next, when, how, where, etc.

Humans are Disorganized: Humans are naturally disorganized. They mean well. They plan to get back to you. They just over-commit, get busy, forget and things fall through the cracks.

So, what can we do? For any topic that is important to you, YOU must take the reins to lead and drive every step of the journey… otherwise, you are relying on them. Book every step of the journey, into your calendar and theirs.

Humans Respond to Targets & Deadlines: Why? Tell my daughter that her book report is due Friday at 2 pm, she will get it done. Tell her to get it done “as soon as possible” and it will never get done. People have a fear of failure and of letting others down. Even for self-management, if we give ourselves targets and deadline, it triggers more accountability.

So, what can we do? Live by timelines and deadlines, for you, for your team and for your customers. Reverse engineer timelines to set the deadlines together with them.

Humans Avoid Expressing How They Feel: When Humans are unhappy with something or someone or have bad news they are supposed to share or discuss, they often choose to say nothing. Why? A few reasons:

Fear of offending others.
To avoid embarrassing anyone or being embarrassed themselves.
To avoid situations that make them feel uncomfortable.
It takes effort to complain or give feedback. It needs to be important enough for them to bother.
Sadly, in our day and age, it’s just easier and often safer to say nothing and walk away from a relationship and hope they get the message, than to give feedback.

So, what can we do? There are a few options here. First, at the conclusion of the current discussion, if there is agreement that you should meet again, ask them immediately for a specific date/time. Their response, positive or evasive, will show you the truth. Second, ask specific questions that disable them from providing vague answers.

Humans Don’t Ask for Help: When Humans don’t understand something, they often say nothing. Why? 3 reasons:

Ego – Humans don’t want to look or feel stupid in front of their peers
It takes effort to ask a question. It needs to be important enough for them to bother.
People don’t know the questions they should ask. They don’t know what they don’t know.

So, what can we do? Invite their questions by asking them very specific questions (e.g. What part of the solution excites you the most?) instead of general questions (e.g. Do you have any questions?)

Humans Don’t Like Surprises: In both personal and business life, I, like you, would rather hear “any type of news” over “no news at all”. When Humans have “no news” often their mind naturally begins to fabricate potential bad news outcomes.

So, what can we do? Don’t let a Human’s mind guess, wander &/or make up bad news scenarios. Be sure to proactively keep your audience in the loop on all updates–good or bad. Using agendas, meeting reminders & meeting recaps are easy ways to do this.

Humans Trust People They Perceive are Experts: Humans often associate that when you take control of a relationship – drive every step, every agenda & have an opinion, that you must “know your stuff” and should be trusted (even if untrue).

So, what can we do? When talking with Humans, challenge them, give your opinion, give them advice & even TELL them what you recommend & why. Communicate what the next steps should be, discuss timelines, and details. When one Human asserts the lead role in a relationship, in a respectful and friendly manner, the others will gladly just follow.

Humans Appreciate When Others Do the Work: People remember the overall experience as much, if not more, than what they bought. Included in the “experience” is recognizing that Humans are often busy and overwhelmed. Not just work busy – but “mind busy” too. So many commitments. Never ending emails. So anytime you put a Human in the driver’s seat of your relationship by getting them to drive next actions, follow ups, reading documents, etc., you are actually giving them more work which is lowering their overall “experience”.

So, what can we do? If a Human was evaluating 3 relationships, they will naturally be drawn to the Human that was proactive in every aspect of the relationship –booking meetings, sending recaps & reminders, setting the agenda, completes all prep work, manages the timeline & keeping others informed step by step.

Humans Favour Heart Above Head: What drives humans to make decisions – facts or feelings? Feelings!! Sometimes the feelings are so strong that they are misguided as “fact” (can you think of an example?). No matter how much research and data Humans review or what the facts are listed on the package, Humans will mostly listen to their gut and the guts of others when making their decision. Interestingly as well, Humans will associate “likability” with “ability”.

So, what can we do? Above all, in relationships, lead with your heart. Make a Human connection every time you interact with someone. Being “social” is the best way to increase your likeability and therefore your trustability.

Humans like to be validated: Again, for many reasons (ego mostly) people want to know that other people agree with their decisions, when they do. From a young age, we look to our parents for confirmation. Then to our friends. Then to our colleagues, bosses, customers and suppliers.

So, what can we do? Give people positive feedback and opinions of their thoughts, views and work. Repeat back what people say; remind them what they and/or you promised or asked for; and add positive feedback and affirmation when describing their needs and solutions back to them.

Humans Like to be Heard: People often just want to be heard and acknowledged. When heard, even if they don’t get the answer or solution they wanted, people feel respected and appreciated, which builds trust and confidence.

So, what can we do? 2 suggestions:

Repeat back to people what they said their concerns or needs including acknowledging their feelings or views.
Respond to people quickly, even if it’s just to tell them you don’t have an answer yet or to give them an update on your progress. See how quickly they show you their appreciation.

Here is a simple example:

You receive an email from a customer with questions/issues that require you to do some work to solve.
The Wrong Approach: Begin your work to solve their issues and get back to them when you are done.
The Right Approach: Respond to let them know you have received their email, you understand their feedback, you require x days to actively work on a solution, and you will get back to them by X day.

Humans are Risk-Averse: For many reasons (ego, fear, shame, failure), humans are scared of making the wrong decisions – personal or professional. So, they often choose the perceived “safest” option (even if that means paying more).

So, what can we do? By applying all the techniques in this module, Humans will feel safe with you. They will know you are in control, leading the way & motivated to do so. They will know you as a human first, and a businessperson second. They will know that all they need to do is follow you. They will naturally move into the trusting “passenger seat” of the relationship, so you can lead.